Who is Clam Simmons?

  • Aurthong of borks
  • Podcaster
  • Videomonger
  • Excite ghost?
  • Shovel thief

Find out more by tricking the buttons with the arrowhead you thought you lost

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Kansas City Spinetinglers

These spine-tinglers  are full of blood, sweat, tears, hotdogs, hamburgers, circus, horse pelts, ras- cals, extinct parakeets, cemeteries, grave robbers, ghouls, ghosts, trains, guns, wranglers, bank robbers, mice, baseballs, piglets, architects, activist birders, troll goblins, feathers, boots, calendars, napkins, shitheads, shovel thieves, and all of the invisible words that you, dear reader, provide between the lines.

The Adventures of Oscar Addlepatter

The literary selections in this book reflect a robust period of activity before Addlepatter went missing. Contained ahead you will encounter a feathery and bold concoction of poetry, prose and meditations on anarchy. Addlepatter espoused many beliefs about life and art but none greater than the following: “We are all strays looking to share a saucer of milk with a group of equal non-enemies….”

Bacon’s Log

Let me be frank—not many of you will make it to the end. It is nothing personal—the chief obstacle is simple—the main character, Bacon, is as basic and regular as any typical human person you might meet. However once Bacon’s particles are forced to collide with unforeseen and unmentionable circumstances you will unearth a tale of a regular human being thrust into an epic odyssey.

Corntact Foam